Let it happen.

Not the best of days today. UCLA called me yesterday with information about my audition, but I lost reception and didn't get to talk to the guy again until today. Found out that my audition is this Saturday at 4:20PM. I was supposed to get an e-mail in Decemer/early January but I didn't so I had no idea until today. So I now have three days to prepare. I practiced a little bit earlier but my lip started hurting. I went on the Department of Music website and discovered I also have a questionnaire and a personal statement to turn in. I might just turn in my original personal statement because I wrote about music anyway. I'll see. It just really upset me that all of this was thrown in my face at the last minute. I guess it's my fault because I should have researched what I had to do but I didn't realize that I had to. I'm sure if I had gotten the e-mail, this would not have been a problem. Oh well, what can I do?

Maybe it's just due to all this trouble I'm having with becoming a music performance major [the stuff with UCLA, UCI not accepting my instrument, UCSD not responding about an audition], but I've been really considering making another area my focus. I've always considered Psychology and I still am. But I still can't answer the question: What am I going to do with psychology? I began to really get into Economics so I'm considering Business Economics. That stuff is really interesting me, probably because the economy is in such a horrible place right now haha. Look at it this way: by the time the economy picks itself back up, I'll be rich! [:

I want to express myself and evaluate my thoughts and feelings about my relationships with the people around me, but I guess you could say I'm afraid to. When I start thinking of this stuff, a thousand thoughts come rushing into my head. Some of my friends, I can't even look at the same anymore. But this is just life and I know that no matter what it comes down to, I know who I can count on. I know that even I am not the best friend there is; there are days [like these past few days] that I just don't feel like talking much. Hopefully my closest friends know that if they needed me, I'd be there for them in a heartbeat. Well, most of my friends anyway. The true friends.

I'm not sure where these thoughts are coming from, but there they are. I guess I think about stuff like this every single day, I just tend to keep them inside.

I'm getting tired, so I think I'll just stop here.

Note[s] to self:
- FAFSA
- Scholarships
- Begin AP Testing review

Just a few thoughts.

I haven't gotten the chance to update this in awhile. Chinese New Year is tomorrow. $$!! YAY. hahaha Family came over and had dinner at my house last night. Brooke came over too cause she likes to call me when she's bored and has no one else to hang out with.

Well, there goes first semester of senior year. It really is going by really fast. I keep saying I'm ready to get out of high school and into college, but I also know that I'm gonna miss it. I guess I just have mixed thoughts about it. I'm sick of high school and the things that come with it, but I also don't know if I'm ready to move on and be on my own in college. I've also been looking at UCSD as my first choice, UCI as my second, and UCLA as my last; but I'm starting to think maybe I should look at it differently. As of now, I'm mostly basing it on the fact that I do not want to be in LA area. But as a music performance major, UCLA would be the most logical choice. This is given that I get into all of these schools, which is also unsure.

Also in relation to college, I need to work on FAFSA and scholarships. I have not done the research for any of that and I'm starting to get worried.

There's more on my mind, but I'll leave that for another time. Maybe.